Have you ever left a meeting, given a speech, or sung a solo on stage only to walk away feeling completely bummed with how you executed the task at hand? Maybe you are shy and introverted and the thought of speaking in front of a group of people makes you want to throw up.
Do you wish you would have stood up for yourself when you were being discriminated against by a coworker or berated by a boyfriend or spouse? Have you ever felt taken advantage of and wished you would have responded differently? Have you been the victim of bullying and bear the weight of feeling like you aren't enough?
Have you ever been in a grueling physical challenge like a half marathon or a reallllllllly long singles match and wanted to quit??
Chances are, you can relate to one or all of these scenarios. The truth is we all have areas of weakness where we feel vuInerable and less than.
Many of my clients are middle aged women who have lived a lot of life. They've dealt with heart break, financial loss, betrayal, being overlooked at work, cancer, death of a loved one etc. Many of those experiences make us stronger, but sometimes we are left with holes in our hearts that keep us from taking chances, asking for what we want, or keep us stagnant.
That said, when it comes to empowerment, creating an alter ego may be just what you need to get Sh** done.
For those who aren't sure, the definition of an alter ego is a "second self," or a version of a person that is completely distinct from their normal persona.
In the past, various well-known celebrities have taken on alter egos, either to make themselves more marketable or appealing, or to become more confident. Most famous are artists like Beyoncé and Lady Gaga. At one time, Beyoncé had an alter ego named Sasha Fierce, who she said made her able to be more comfortable and sexy during performances. On the other hand, Lady Gaga is an alter ego of Stefani Germanotta, the "ordinary" woman behind the huge sensation that Lady Gaga has become.
How will Your Alter Ego Help You?
She/He's brave
She's confident. She can say things that you might not normally have the guts to say. She understands the value of words, and that fewer words can often say more, and with more power. She's got guts, fervor, and ambition. You don't have to go through the emotionally draining act of trying to be her all the time, because she gets strength in rest. So you can use her when you need her and not have to feel like you're over extending yourself the rest of the time.
She/He doesn't waste time
Because you don't use this part of your character very often, you know it has a limited life-span. This alter ego knows that time is precious, she's got a short window to use all her guts and glory to get whatever you need done, done. She gets right to the point and doesn't mess around.
She/He's willing to fight for you
It might be the hardest thing women do: to fight for themselves. To advocate for what they want and need. To defend themselves. To prove themselves. To speak up when something is harming them. To say what it is they want or believe in. Your alter ego can do it for you. Your alter ego will tell you " I can" when you feel like saying "I can't. She'll give you strength when you feel weak. She'll speak up when you would normally stay quiet. She'll tell you you can do hard things and that everything will be ok.
She's strong and tireless
She helps your legs keep going when they feel like giving out. She gives you strength to run up a mountain or finish the race. She's mentally strong and can face any challenge placed before her. She says keep fighting when she hears the word cancer or chemo. She is fierce and a fighter.
What qualities should your alter ego have?
It is important to know what qualities you want your alter ego to take on. Whether you want to be more outspoken, more confident, more gritty or more sexy, the first step is always to realize your specific goals in creating this persona. For most people, the alter ego possesses the qualities that you wish you had. She's strong in the areas you are lacking.
I truly believe that every person has it within them to be the version of themselves they want to be and that it is possible to take on characteristics you value simply through diligent focus. However, an alter ego may be the easiest or most fun method of shifting your mindset and creating a life you love.
So if you're looking to create a positive change in your life and are interested in creating a Sasha Fierce of your own, follow these steps:
Hi Ruth, it’s nice of you to share and explain what alter ego is and this interests me in making my own one. I am usually introverted and like to stay in my comfort zone to play it safe but I knew I had to get out of that someday. So, I just happened to think of alter ego out of nowhere and decided to check it out. There are times that I think I may have already made one subconsciously, as I often talk to my self and I wondered if it’s a normal thing. Turns out, it is…thanks to this article. I am always insecure of my self that it frustrates me sometimes because there are lots of opportunities I missed caused by a goddamn low self-esteem. Whenever, I’m washing dishes though, I’ve always imagined myself a personality that I wish I could present to people naturally. I even act sometimes just to prove it and it felt good. It doesn’t feel like me but it felt powerful, confident and cocky I might add haha. I’m always on the ground with all the things I do, compliments kind of make me uncomfortable or shy. That personality I use to enact for fun is the total opposite and I must admit, I wanted to become just that someday but I also would love to keep a part of myself to balance it out because I think that personality can be quite toxic and dangerous. She’s daring and evil, she might scare a lot of people. I am too, subtly scared of that personality going overboard and now I’m thinking of a perfect name for her. She can be pretty handy a times and your right naming alter ego is exciting as I can now have the chance to choose my own name. I’m thinking, it’d be opposite of my Angelic name (so maybe quite a devilish one, she can be really selfish so…) she’s the type of personality I wish I had and I wish I hadn’t if that makes sense but I would love to have her nonetheless. I always play safe and now I long for the daring one, she might just save me a lot of trouble in the future. Thanks a bunch for this, you’re an angel.
Respectfully noted, thoughtfully shared, mutually beneficial colleagues friends and family. So pleased I happened on to your beneficial site, most helpful! 🍀
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Dear Ruth,
Your article is absolutely amazing! And I must confess that you are quite amazing and beautiful as well!
For many years now, I can truly say that I have an alter ego who has helped me, and still helps me, immensely in my life.
From my alter ego’s humble beginnings as a skirt chasin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealin’ sonofagun to a more sophisticated, classy, connoisseur of fine wines and fine cuisine, and dressed in bespoke suits and silk ties, the life I am living now is absolutely amazing!
My goal one day is definitely to develop my alter ego as a recognized brand and make it in the business world in whichever businesses or products I plan on developing as well.
My alter ego is a smart and well-educated man. And I know I can go further in my life than I have ever been before.
I can definitely relate to every detail of your article.
Thank you so very kindly Ruth! You are absolutely amazing!
Stephan Huard
a.k.a. Double H (HH)
xoxo
I LOVE your article! You are absolutely correct about an alter ego helping you achieve repressed feelings from your normal self. Ever since MY alter ego gave herself a name and a voice, I HAVN’T BEEN HAPPIER! And i recently went through a heartbreaking break-up. My personal self didn’t give me the love needed afterwards, but my alter ego reminds me that I AM beautiful and good enough for love! I AM WORTHY!
Thanks Ruth! You rock!